I had a drink with Trevor last week and we had an interesting talk about love and life.
He is in a new relationship and he is finding it hard to understand how someone could fall for him. This was really hard for me to hear since I had fallen for him over 20 years ago. Anyhoo... He told me that, since being an adult, he has been the one pursuing and that all his relationships have been one sided - his. He has spent a lot of time trying to woo women and to no avail he is still single.
I have been thinking about his dilemma and I can see where he is coming from. If I was not married to Gordon, would I be single? I'm not sure that anyone would find me intersting enough to date, let alone marry. I know this sounds like I am insecure - which I am - but I really wonder what my life would have been like had I not met Gordon.
Would Trevor and I have finally hooked up? Would I have fallen head over heals for Scott? And what about Tim? All of these guys liked me, but it was pretty much one sided on my part.
I am probably feeling like this because my birthday was this week and I am depressed. For once I would like someone, other than my husband, to tell me they find me attractive. Right now I really don't feel that way, I am overweight and feel really ugly. Yeah, I put on a smiling face when I am around people, but that is just to make up for the fact that I am overweight. It's like over compensation for being undercompensated in the looks department.
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Oh be quiet. It's nothing to do with the way you look. I'm sure youre gorgeous. It's all about being a woman and having crazy hormones that are set on killing us.
Best thing to do when you feel this way is run like hell or punch something. Alot.
Honestly. Boxing bags/gloves... the whole racket....are the best mood enhancers in the world. They also burn off hella calories.
So go on......
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