A New Year

As the year is winding down, I must say, I am looking forward to starting fresh. I called 2007 my year of "firsts". I got my first tatoo, went to the Derby, threw myself into my job and getting to travel because of it - San Francisco, Houston and Tulsa. Even though I didn't to see much in Frisco and Tulsa, I brought back a lot of work experience. Houston brought my first trip to a strip joint with the guys. Yes, what a year of "firsts" it was.












2007 also brought a lot of pain, most of it still fresh like an open wound needing to heal, but with a gentle touch still opens it up to bleed. All of this loss has taught me to not take things for granted, tell the people you love that you love them, and friends from the past, let them know what they mean to you.

Baby Jane aka BJ

The look in her soulful eyes said “thank you” but I still felt guilty about letting her go. As the doctor injected that shot, she kept looking at me, then nothing. It was over, 14 years of having a puppy sister. I could feel myself shaking, then I started to cry. It came in waves and I wonder if it was for all the loss that I have experienced this year. Crying for her, yet crying for myself, crying for all the pain my dad has had this year.

She could hardly walk and it was painful watching her try and lay down. It was time and Dad knew it. He called me this morning and wanted me to go with him, he was ready to let go. With all the loss he has had this year, I knew being there with him was the right thing to do.

She was named on a bet, no one would think to name their dog after the Bette Davis character from the movie "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" but Dad did. She was the runt of the litter which made her obsessed with food. She would gulp down a hot dog bun sideways in one swallow. You had to feed her first or Lena (Michael's dog) wouldn't have a chance to eat. We used to say that you could take the girl out of North Side, but you couldn't take the North Side out of the girl - she was our North Side girl. She like to sit on the steps with her butt one step higher than her front paws, we called this Sky Butt. She always had these quirky things she did.

When Dad first moved to Zelie, I used to stop by after work and let her out. This was our special time. I loved having her to myself and showering her with love. We would run around the yard and I would throw her balls, unfortunately she never liked to play fetch, so the balls would just lie there waiting for me to pick them back up.

When Michael died, I think it was Baby Jane that made things bearable for Dad. I knew at that time that she was getting worse, but there was a part of me that wanted her to live forever, just for Dad.

As I sit here writing this, I can see her chasing rabbits and squirrels in a park with Michael watching nearby. I'm glad they are together, I just wish they were together with us here, but they are both happy now and in a better place.

What's it been? Two Months

Wow, things have been so crazy that I haven't had time to write, or is it that I haven't had anything happen worth writing about. Who knows, so here I am.

Some things of note that have happened since my last entry:

We spread Michael's ashes in the middle of October. It was a cold, rainy day when we marched into the woods. Dad kept saying to Greg and I, "How does this work?" Our response in unison, "I dunno, we've never done this before either."

I went prepared with a pair of scissors to cut open the bag and a backpack to carry the box into the woods. Once we found a couple places, we cut the bag open and let dad spread the ashes. It was a sad moment when we were finished. Dad said some sweet words and we walked quietly out of the woods. When we were driving down the road, I noticed the clouds part and the sun come out - how appropriate, I knew then that Michael was finally at peace.

Gordy got a new job - yeah!!! He is working normal hours and only works every third Saturday. He started this week and was home before me twice already. I told he needs to ease me into this new way of living. I am so used to being by myself the majority of the time and now he is around, it's great but it's culture shock. I see this as a new chapter in our marriage, I may even start cooking dinner a couple nights a week.

Pitt beat WVU last night. After such a sucky season, I really didn't expect Pitt to pull this one out. WVU was just too tense and Pitt wanted it more. It really throws a monkey wrench into the National Championship. Go Ohio State!!!

Well, I need to go. Enjoy the pics of JJ (he loved my chocolate chip cookies. I learned one thing, never walk away from a two year old with a CC cookie or it will end up like this) Check out the pic of the owl, he is living in the squirrel house right outside the window.