Ode to Tim

Where do I start... I keep having dreams about you, I want to call you just to hear your voice, but I need to let you know I am not into being destroyed mentally by our friendship.

I must say, I love my husband with all my heart, and I would never do anything to hurt him, Gordon has filled a gap in my life that I never thought could be filled. Tim is part of my childhood, he knows about what I was like when I was younger, he knows the same people, he knows what makes me tick.

I remember the day we met as if it were yesterday. He was at SVTV visiting Tim Hall and I was on my way into the studio. Even though he is 5 years older than me, I knew of him through his sister, Natalie, and through photography. As I was walking down the hallway and saw him, me being me walked right up to him and said, "Hey, you must be Tim Weichel? My name is Margie Druschel, nice to meet you." It was instant friendship from that point on. He was in the Navy and I was still in school, but we talked all the time and saw each other when he came home from Groton to visit his parents. After a while, we started dating. It was the perfect relationship for someone in high school. We didn't see each other everyday, so we couldn't fight, perfect...

I started this two weeks ago, a lot has changed since then. All I wanted was to hear his voice, so I called his cell phone, knowing that I would get his voice mail and hear him. I called and left some stupid message. After I did that, I felt I had betrayed myself. I vowed that I wouldn't call him and here I was, making that first step. Every time the phone rang after that, I was secretly wishing it would be him.

That call came this week... I was sitting at my desk at work and the phone rang. I picked it up and instantly I knew it was him even before he said a word. I asked how he was doing, his reply was "Glad that you haven't hung up the phone on me yet." It was like that scene in Jerry McGuire where Renee Zilwegger said "You had me at Hello." I couldn't get enough of talking to him. I was at work, so I really couldn't say to much, but I had a million things to tell him. I wanted to tell him that our friendship is one of the most important things in my life. I would never forgive myself if something happened to him and I never told him how I felt. I live each day not knowing if Pete knew how I felt about him and I will never have the chance to tell Pete. Tim on the other hand is still here and I need to tell him how much he means to me.

Here goes...
I have known you all my adult life and the latter part of my childhood. You have always been in inspiration to me. You are smart and very gifted with technical knowledge, I am so good at my job because you and I talk "techie." I think I got this through osmosis :)

You make me feel special when I have your full attention. You always compliment me about my job and tell me how proud of me that you are.

I feel like I have a "connection" to you. When you're in town, I "know" it. I feel it in my bones and my heart. I know when something is bothering you, and you know the same about me. Remember the time you were going to be married in VA Beach and she left you for a dead man? Something told me to call you, you were in need.

I love you as only a true friend can. This love in embedded in my being and will never change. I may be pissed at you, but I still love you. Even when I wrote my first entry and was angry at you, I still loved you.

No matter where we are, we always have a good time. I still get ragged about hiking in Topanga Canyon and getting poison sumac. Standing on the beach in LaJolla between you and Gordon, I will never forget that sunset. Missing my plane out of Burbank and getting a free ticket. That crazy party in Houston, what a view. Lunches in the cafeteria and of course, there will always be Vegas. I have never had so much fun as I did in Vegas. Work all day, gamble all night, then back to work the next day. I would sleep for 24 hours when I got home just to get back in sync with the real world.

You have been an important part of my life. I look back and there isn't a thing about me that you don't know about. Thank you for everything, my life has been better with you in it.