I swear, I am a complete idiot. Give me an inch and I hide in a hole. I was outside getting something from my car at that all important time - you know, when the maintenance man is leaving work. Anyhow, it's almost dark and I know that he's about to come around the corner. I shut the car door and there he is.
"hey, have a nice night."
"yeah, working." was my lame response. Then he stops waiting for me to explain why I am working late.
"Did you work all day."
"Yep. We are working on a big project that's due at the end of December, so I am working a lot of hours."
"Too bad, I hope you at least make some OT."
"Have a nice night."
"You too."
Ugh, as goofy as I act, this guy must know that I have a crush on him. No matter when we talk to him, I turn 10 different shades of red and bumble my words.
It's not like I am available to pursue anything, nor do I really want to. I just enjoy the thrill of the hunt - wow that is wrong on so many levels.
Maybe I want to know if someone, other than my husband, finds me attractive. Is this possible? I would like to think so, but I doubt it.
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2 comments:
Why do you berate yourself? People who love you see you for who you are. They will love you even if you are not the anorexic twig. I asked Pete once, how he could love an overweight average looking person. He looked at me funny and said.... When I see what comes from within, I see no flaws. If one person can be that way I am sure there are more.
You are so sweet and right. I am a good person and I know that I am loved, but I have this thing. I get down on myself and think everyone looks at me then laughs. I try to be over funny so people will look at me for who I am inside and not what I look like on the outside. I have a hard time feeling good about my myself. I guess I need to please myself and good feelings will follow.
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