Baby Jane aka BJ

The look in her soulful eyes said “thank you” but I still felt guilty about letting her go. As the doctor injected that shot, she kept looking at me, then nothing. It was over, 14 years of having a puppy sister. I could feel myself shaking, then I started to cry. It came in waves and I wonder if it was for all the loss that I have experienced this year. Crying for her, yet crying for myself, crying for all the pain my dad has had this year.

She could hardly walk and it was painful watching her try and lay down. It was time and Dad knew it. He called me this morning and wanted me to go with him, he was ready to let go. With all the loss he has had this year, I knew being there with him was the right thing to do.

She was named on a bet, no one would think to name their dog after the Bette Davis character from the movie "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" but Dad did. She was the runt of the litter which made her obsessed with food. She would gulp down a hot dog bun sideways in one swallow. You had to feed her first or Lena (Michael's dog) wouldn't have a chance to eat. We used to say that you could take the girl out of North Side, but you couldn't take the North Side out of the girl - she was our North Side girl. She like to sit on the steps with her butt one step higher than her front paws, we called this Sky Butt. She always had these quirky things she did.

When Dad first moved to Zelie, I used to stop by after work and let her out. This was our special time. I loved having her to myself and showering her with love. We would run around the yard and I would throw her balls, unfortunately she never liked to play fetch, so the balls would just lie there waiting for me to pick them back up.

When Michael died, I think it was Baby Jane that made things bearable for Dad. I knew at that time that she was getting worse, but there was a part of me that wanted her to live forever, just for Dad.

As I sit here writing this, I can see her chasing rabbits and squirrels in a park with Michael watching nearby. I'm glad they are together, I just wish they were together with us here, but they are both happy now and in a better place.