Change of Seasons

I am sitting in the office this morning nursing a headache watching the leaves fall from the trees. The weather here is beautiful and there isn't a cloud in the sky this chilly Sunday morning. Stop and smell the roses, Gordy says...

I had a scare early Friday morning and I have been doing a lot of thinking about life in general since then.

When I woke up at 2:13am with no feeling in my arm, I didn't think to much about it. After 10 minutes of trying to get the feeling back in my hand, I got lite headed and the back of my neck and shoulders got tingly - I knew something wasn't right. My heart pounded like I was running a marathon and I couldn't stop shaking. I ran to the kitchen and took two aspirin then woke Gordon up. He called 911 and the ambulance came.

They took me to the local hospital and ran a series of tests. The tests came out negative, which is good. After some thinking, I believe I have an anxiety attack.

The evening before I was looking at my body in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw. I was upset at how I have let myself go and how lacadasial I have become about life.

I have also been under a lot of stress at work with the loss of my project and moving onto other things. I also think my family has caused a lot of stress in my life. Actually thinking about my family, yes they are who they are, but I tend to look deeper into things than I probably should. I need to let go and not internalize my feelings.

I would really like a vacation away from everything. Sit on the beach and read, think and ponder the meaning of life. Hike in the mountains and enjoy the wildlife around me. See a new city and discover what makes that city so special. Anything, just get away from it all.

I look out the window and see the wonderful world I live in. I am really blessed. Blessed to have a great husband and family. Blessed to be alive.